Week 11 - The Discomforting Sound of Silence

                I figured going into this project that these last two weeks or so of the school year would be pretty lame-duck; that is, fewer people would call me back because the school year is winding down anyway. Hopefully I’m wrong, but if the two notecards I handed out this week are any tell, I would say it was an accurate prediction.

                I did the regular handout this week; one to a male, one to a female. The female gave the standard “Smile, nod, thanks” that seems to be so popular a response to this project. The male really made me uncomfortable by not saying anything, not even a thank you, not even a goodbye. He didn’t even have to scowl, or frown, or show any negative body language at all—just by saying absolutely nothing, the guy made me feel really stupid. This is really weird in any context, if you think about it; nothing makes me squirm more than when someone doesn’t talk when I expect them to do so. I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining about people thanking me when there are apparently some people that won’t even open their mouth when I give them a notecard.

                On the bright side, I was outside on Thursday morning when I was approached by the guy I gave a notecard last week. He came up to me and said, “Uh, I seem to have misplaced your phone number… Do you mind if I could get it again?” So of course I gave him my number, which is a good sign as far as his calling me back, but he still hasn’t called. I suppose there is always this weekend, but I’m not exactly anticipating him calling me back.

                So what do you think, reader? Does the end of the school year give an incentive to call back because of the “I’ve got nothing to lose” factor, or does it hinder the desire to call back because of the “We’re almost done, I don’t give a hoot” factor?

Week 10 - If You Listen Closely, You Might Hear Someone Speaking

                I had quite a bit of work this week, so it’s probably for the best that nobody called me back. I gave a card to an asexual gentleman this week, as well as some rando Asian biddy from the sixth floor of my residence hall. Both were courteous, thanking me and at least not giving me the deathstare. I felt like kind of a mook with the girl, though; when she thanked me, I didn’t go with the usual “No, thank YOU,” but I instead opted to say “You’re welcome.” Oh, the hypocrisy of it all.

                There is an important point upon which I would like to elaborate that doesn’t necessarily pertain to this experiment, but instead to the whole of human communication. I don’t know how many people reading this are going to agree with me or realize it, but it’s been bothering me ever since I came to college. Though it occasionally happens with people I am meeting for the first time, it occurs mostly with people I already know. I’m talking about the give and take of conversation, or lack thereof. When talking to people, it is all too often that they monopolize conversation. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m a good listener, and I understand it’s an important part of conversation to hear out what someone else has to say. I don’t want to sound like a whiny shit or anything, but what I’m saying is that listening has become a lost art. Nobody does it anymore. If I wouldn’t consciously interject what I want to say in conversation, I would just never end up saying it. Rarely does anyone ask for my story, ask my feelings on a subject, or want to know where I stand on an issue. Most of the people I’ve met thus far at college have been serious perpetrators of this crime; perhaps understandably, though I won’t forgive anyone for it. Think about it—Which person sounds like someone with whom you would want to be friends? Someone who listens to you after giving their two cents (or, God help me, BEFORE giving their two cents), or someone that tells you everything they think about a subject and then moves on?

                You know, I would elaborate upon this phenomenon, but I think I’ve just found the topic for my motivational speech. Have a good week, everyone.

Week 9 - Facebook?

I handed out my nineteenth and twentieth notecards this week to a female and a male. I observed some neat things this week, not only in the experiment itself, but in myself as well. So without further ado, here’s how it happened:

For a while, there have been two people I’ve been considering for notecards, and I managed to get them both in one week. One is a male that I ALWAYS see wearing earbuds, yet I have never once seen him with another human being. On this particular night, however, I saw him without earbuds as he entered the residence hall. I almost didn’t catch it or even think of it, as I was on my way out as he was entering.  By the time I had made the executive decision in my mind to give this guy a notecard, the door had already closed. Damn. Now I’m that guy that takes two steps out of a building, realizes he forgot something, and then has to try his best to not look like a mook when he does a 180 and goes right back inside the structure he had just left. I go in and give the guy a notecard, but he was having none of it; he did, however, have plenty of that “you’re fucking crazy” look on his face the whole time I was explaining. He left, probably never to make eye contact with me again. Pity.

Anyway, as you can imagine, he didn’t call back, though I did an observation about myself—When someone’s body language is implying that they’re uncomfortable (which happens a lot, as I’m sure you can imagine), I tend to reinforce the fact that this is a school project. Maybe it’s because I subconsciously don’t want to seem too strange or to seem like I’m selling something, but I really can’t help mentioning a few times that this is a project for school when someone seems uncomfortable.

The other person, the female, gave a more positive response. Females tend to be the fairer sex as far as positive responses (smiling, nodding, eye contact, superfluous thank you’s) over males, even when they don’t call back. Anyway, it was Friday when I ran into her, handing her a card. Immediately, she said “Ok, well I’m not going to be here over the weekend, and I have a group project on Monday, but I can call you after that!” Huh, pretty cool, I thought; that’s the first time someone in this experiment actually told me they would call me. What’s more, the girl sent me a friend request over Facebook that very evening. That’s the first time someone in this experiment has sent me a friend request before getting to know me first. Facebook aside, however, I was just glad to have someone else calling me back so I would have something to write about. Right?

Dead wrong! Tuesday rolled around, and I got TOTALLY whiffed by this girl! Weaksauce. The only time someone actually SAID they would call back, and they didn’t. But the strangest part? When we pass each other going somewhere, she not only says hello, but she stops to talk. Jesus, my actual friends hardly afford me that luxury when I pass them, let alone some rando that didn’t even call me in the first place but nonetheless friend requested me. Am I the only one that finds this odd?

So that was my week. It was interesting enough on my end, I think—but please, feel free to ask questions or give comments. And please be honest; I’m tougher than I look, I don’t mind criticism.