Week 3 - Blonde Hair, John Mayer, and Nay-Sayer

                Another week passed, but again, no luck. I handed out three cards again. The first was to a short blonde female who gave a pretty standard response; she smiled politely, let me give my spiel, thanked me, and walked away. The second was a pretty tall male that resembled John Mayer. Despite the obvious implication of roguish good looks, he was deathly shy. I would say I could see it in his eyes, but I wouldn’t know because he didn’t make eye contact with me the entire time I was speaking to him. Again, no callback. But you know what? I would rather take every no-show in the world than have to deal again with the jerk I met at the Big Onion on Tuesday.

            It was breakfast time for me, which comes at about 11:30 on Tuesdays. I strolled over to the Big Onion, feeling confident and chipper, which I assure you is no average occurrence. I snagged a PB&J, sat down and scanned the area for a mark. There he was, sitting alone at a two-person table, eating a slice of pizza and staring out the window. Looked as good as any, I figured; he was a portly fellow, bespectacled, and half-lidded in that way most people that stare at windows for fun tend to be. His button down shirt said “I’m here to make an impression,” but the ponytail he was sporting said “I’m here to party.” I asked him if I could sit down with him for a second, and did so in response to his affirmative grunt. I made sure to smile, not only because I was invading his clearly precious personal space, but moreover because he looked like he needed one. I began my speech, telling him that I was doing a project for a class, and I gave him my card. He stared at it blankly for a few solid seconds; excusably so, since my handwriting is horrendous. To break the increasingly awkward silence and to segue to my conclusion, I said “Now feel free to not call back, because I know this is kind of strange, but…” Then, without provocation, he interrupted me in the snarkiest and most acerbic of tones, “Yeah, strange is one word for it.” I didn’t know what to say. I had, perhaps foolishly, never prepared for a hostile response of any sort before handing out a card. I kept my cool, fortunately, and finished my speech. When I was done, his idea of saying goodbye was to continue scarfing down his pizza, so I opted to slink off into a corner and rue the world.

            I hadn’t thought about this happening. I figured I might get teased a little, if only in good humor, but I welcome that sort of reaction. Straightforward assholery, however, is not something for which I had planned. So I pose to you, humble reader: How would you react to this situation in my boots? Should I have reacted differently? If this happens again, should I react a specific way?