Week 4 - First Impressions

                This week I learned that first impressions are bullshit. Next time someone tells you how important first impressions are, slap them and ask for a lawyer. I only handed out two cards this week, both of which were examples of first impressions being misleading. One was a female in the Onion and the other was a female in the Geary Square. First things first, the girl from the Onion, henceforth referred to as “PB&J.”

                I was eating breakfast on Tuesday in the Onion, trying to find someone to hand a notecard since I had been slacking all week. I couldn’t see anyone alone, which was a shame, so I collected my trash and stood up to throw it away. Just as I was making my maneuver for the trash can, a girl sat down alone about five feet away from me. Looks like I’m ruining her meal.

                I sat down across from her, and was greeted with a look of shock. I briefly explained my project, handed her a card, and still got not a word from her. It wasn’t until I said “Ok, well thank you” that she said “Uh, bye.” I had received this response before, and I felt certain that this was the last I would ever hear from her. I went out for a cigarette and pushed it from my mind. About twenty minutes after I left the Onion, however, my pocket vibrated. Could it be??

                It was indeed an unknown number texting me, with a message saying merely “So what’s this project for?” Nice. Two for eleven. I elaborated as much as possible, though not so much to potentially offend her. We hashed it out, and we’re going for coffee on Friday afternoon. I completely got caught off guard by someone that I thought was entirely skeptical of me. Looks like my first impression betrayed me. But my impressions won’t mislead me again, right?

                Wrong. Thursday morning, I realized I had only handed out one notecard, which is pretty lackluster, so I rolled a cigarette and waited in Geary Square for a mark. Not a minute after sitting down, a girl came strolling up the way alone. Go time. I went up to her and gave the spiel, and got an atypically positive response; she smiled warmly, thanked me, pointed out that we live in the same residence hall, and went on her merry way. It may not sound like much, but cousin, if you could compare it to the other reactions I’ve seen, this girl was a goddamned Mother Theresa. But even with that great first impression, she hasn’t called. Granted, as of this writing, it hasn’t even been twelve hours, but both responses so far happened within six hours of the notecard changing hands, so I’m not holding my breath.

                So that’s that; I was hoping this project would help me get a feel of first impressions with people, but it seems that may not always be the case. But what do you think-- Are your first impressions of people typically accurate, or do you find people are frequently not what they seem at first glance?

Week 3 - Blonde Hair, John Mayer, and Nay-Sayer

                Another week passed, but again, no luck. I handed out three cards again. The first was to a short blonde female who gave a pretty standard response; she smiled politely, let me give my spiel, thanked me, and walked away. The second was a pretty tall male that resembled John Mayer. Despite the obvious implication of roguish good looks, he was deathly shy. I would say I could see it in his eyes, but I wouldn’t know because he didn’t make eye contact with me the entire time I was speaking to him. Again, no callback. But you know what? I would rather take every no-show in the world than have to deal again with the jerk I met at the Big Onion on Tuesday.

            It was breakfast time for me, which comes at about 11:30 on Tuesdays. I strolled over to the Big Onion, feeling confident and chipper, which I assure you is no average occurrence. I snagged a PB&J, sat down and scanned the area for a mark. There he was, sitting alone at a two-person table, eating a slice of pizza and staring out the window. Looked as good as any, I figured; he was a portly fellow, bespectacled, and half-lidded in that way most people that stare at windows for fun tend to be. His button down shirt said “I’m here to make an impression,” but the ponytail he was sporting said “I’m here to party.” I asked him if I could sit down with him for a second, and did so in response to his affirmative grunt. I made sure to smile, not only because I was invading his clearly precious personal space, but moreover because he looked like he needed one. I began my speech, telling him that I was doing a project for a class, and I gave him my card. He stared at it blankly for a few solid seconds; excusably so, since my handwriting is horrendous. To break the increasingly awkward silence and to segue to my conclusion, I said “Now feel free to not call back, because I know this is kind of strange, but…” Then, without provocation, he interrupted me in the snarkiest and most acerbic of tones, “Yeah, strange is one word for it.” I didn’t know what to say. I had, perhaps foolishly, never prepared for a hostile response of any sort before handing out a card. I kept my cool, fortunately, and finished my speech. When I was done, his idea of saying goodbye was to continue scarfing down his pizza, so I opted to slink off into a corner and rue the world.

            I hadn’t thought about this happening. I figured I might get teased a little, if only in good humor, but I welcome that sort of reaction. Straightforward assholery, however, is not something for which I had planned. So I pose to you, humble reader: How would you react to this situation in my boots? Should I have reacted differently? If this happens again, should I react a specific way?

Week 2 - Athena

                Things are starting to look up for this experiment. This week, I handed out three notecards three females, since I only handed out one to a girl last week. The first girl was courteous, said thank you and walked away, but I knew she wouldn’t call. The second girl was eating alone in the Big Onion, so I figured “what the hell” and gave it my best shot. Believe me when I say it—if looks could kill, my white chalk outline would be there now. She said not a word to me, and I got the hell out of there before she could reach her pepper spray. But the third girl… The third girl was my first callback, henceforth referred to as “Athena.”

                She was sitting on a table outside the Onion last weekend, smoking a cigarette and texting someone. I approached her and gave her my card, hoping for the best. It was halfway through my monologue that I remembered I was dressed like this (Long story):

Despite the getup, the response was positive; it was the first time someone introduced herself after I did so. About four hours later, I get a text from a number that I’ve never seen, saying “Hey Ben with the lovely bowtie, it’s [Athena]. We met earlier and I hope I’ll be helpful with your experiment haha.” Success. We nailed down some details, and decided on Starbucks downtown after class on Tuesday.

                Tuesday evening rolled around, and I arrived at Starbucks a few minutes early. I texted Athena to tell her I was waiting outside, but I didn’t get a response. I figured she was on her way. After ten minutes, I called, but she didn’t pick up. Thirty minutes had passed, and none of my texts or calls had been returned. Defeated, bruised, and pissed at the world, I began the long walk back to East Halls.

                Halfway back, I got a text from Athena, saying “Oh my god I’m so unbelievably sorry! I’ve been sleeping since I got home from class and I completely forgot to set an alarm. I’m so sorry I feel terrible…” Well, that answers that question. We ended up going to Starbucks after all, and we hung out for an hour and a half just talking and getting to know each other. Turns out she’s a pretty cool cat, so overall, it was a success.

                I had my doubts about this project, but getting a callback was certainly a confidence booster. Hopefully this confidence reflects in my actual distribution of notecards, because the hardest part is approaching the people to give them one. Fortunately, knowing that there are people that will respond makes giving them out just a little easier.

Week 1 - Testing the Waters

                There goes the first week. So far, I’ve handed out four cards and, surprise-surprise, no callbacks. In defense of these people, maybe they weren’t as lonely as they looked at the time, and I did hand them all out in the last three days. But, it’s only the first week, and I’m only at four cards, so we’ll see how things go from here. I don’t have enough data yet to start generalizing about anything, so that will have to wait a week or so.

                Only one of the reactions so far could be considered noteworthy. When I hand someone a card, I don’t elaborate; I tell them that I’m doing a project for a Civic Life class, and offer to go to lunch with them or get coffee or something of that nature. The first two people were polite, if not a bit curt, and went about their merry way. The third guy brought up a good point though. After giving him my little introduction, he said “Am I allowed to know what this project is about?” I realized that this could be a bit of a road block; after all, I don’t want to be telling these people “Well, you look like a lonely sad-sack, so consider me your lucky day,” because frankly, that may be how some people would perceive things. I played it off, telling him that it’s an experiment to see who calls back, and he didn’t push the point further.  In the future though, maybe I should be prepared for this sort of thing.

                I’m starting to pick up on things that I haven’t thought about before, for instance, iPods. There were a few people that would walk by or be sitting around, looking like a perfect mark, and I would get halfway to them and realize they had earbuds in their head. While it wouldn’t be impossible to get their attention, it would at least seem a little rude. How would you feel if someone approached you with this experiment while you were listening to an MP3 player? I myself wouldn’t care, but then again, I haven’t used my iPod since July. It makes me wonder what people are missing around them when they opt to listen to their iPod everywhere.

                So that’s what I’ve picked up in my first week. Hopefully I’ll get some responses by next Thursday so I have a little more to write about. In the meantime, feel free to ask questions or, even better, to comment on how you think this experiment could be modified for the better.